I miss my beautiful little sister.
Before I left though, she wrote me a book. That in itself is really special, cuz Kelly is severely dyslexic and spent weeks working on the thing. Despite all of the frustration that it caused her, it has been an absolute joy to me. Every time I'm feeling a little homesick, I whip out "The Glory of Me" and laugh, out loud, for extended periods of time... until my roommates come in and discover that there is no one else in my room with me. Meh. That I'm nuts is their problem, not mine.
Anyway, here are a couple of my favorite excerpts (at least the ones that can be spread across the internet...). The spelling has been slightly modified, and names have been changed to protect the innocent.
WARNING: Politically incorrect and not at all serious.
THE GLORY OF ME! By Kelly and Roxy (but mostly Kelly because Roxy was too busy eating lard)SARA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I know when you are gone you will miss me and Roxy most so we decided to write you this book (HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME!!!!!!!!!)Sara you have to promise me two things:1. You won't get stressed near fires or stoves.... accidents can happen!2. Please don't eat any more babies, the dingoes' reputation is already bad enough.[here she included a bagged sample of hers and Roxy's hair... seriously]WHEN YOU LEAVE!People in airports are..... well, very sneaky. So I have some tips for you.KELLY'S AIRPORT TIPS1. Just in case your bags go missing you should wear five pairs of underwear over your clothes, clean or dirty (in your case)2. Airports can be very crowded so you should eat lots of beans and get stressed![Here she glued her Whistler ski pass, which I had to rip out and mail to her, because it didn't occur to her that she might need it to get on the mountain when they went up this summer]WHY YOU WILL MISS ME1. I turn you on.2. I am the funniest person you know (CURSE YOU JOHN!! Only one of us can be the funniest and we all know who will win. It will not be the one with the monkey fist in their mouth!)3. Who will you call when you need to clear a room?4. Who will you make fun of other people with?5. You will pressure you into buying coffee?DOGasd;lfkjasdf;lkjasd;flkjasdlkmc;laisjer;lwkej;lk;lkajsdf;lakjsdf;lkajsdf;lkasjdf;a;asdf;lijasdf;lkjasdf;lkjasd;lfkj;alskdjf;lasdf;lkjasd;flkjas;dlfkjjffjrururururunvnvjds;lfkjfjjfjdkfls;lkdfja;Mama!!!!!!!!!!![here she took Roxy's paw, dipped it in a silver ink pad, and autographed the page, before Roxy got pissed off and ran around stamping the floor with her dazzling little foot]THE GREAT BATTLEOnce upon a time there was an evil hobo [our neighbor. Kelly is convinced he is really a hobo... don't ask]. This hobo was very dangerous; he was a stabby hobo, and even worse he was BREEDING!Across the street there were two magical sisters. These sisters were very afraid of the stabby hobo once he tried to break into their house. The sisters decided they had to protect themselves so they declared ware. The younger sister did some research and found out that stabby hobos have one weakness....... clean water, since stabby hobos are sometimes squeegee boys too, and they are working in dirty water all day so they can't stand it when it is clean! The sisters decided to pour clean water on him!That day they were going to sneak into his house/box to get him when out of nowhere he appeared from the shadows wearing a skirt!No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!He is invisible with his skirt on. Suddenly the hobo started to chase them! Quickly they decided to take the secret Costco tunnel that Dad had. They were safe for now... two days later they finally caught the hobo off his guard and he was vanquished!!!!!!!But what about his evil spawn?????Oh man... I needed that.
Ah yes, I'm back from the Northern Territory. Pictures to follow. Pictures in abundance. Heaps of pictures.
Burnt of sun, chapped of lip, but having fun.
To the Red Centre
Don't be fooled by the picture. This little pebble is 8 kilometres around.
Tomorrow, Liz and I are off to the Northern Territory for a week in the Outback. Plans include:
- Getting lost in the desert
- Getting hit by a road train (a truck that pulls three semi-trailers)
- Getting eaten by a dingo
- Being found crawling through the bush, confused and dehydrated.
Kidding. I hope. Instead, we'll be hanging out at Uluru (the rock formerly known as Prince I mean Ayers Rock), then renting a car and driving to Alice Springs, stopping to spend the night in an old jail (which they spell "gaol"), and possibly at a homestead as well. My albino skin will not appreciate so much sun, but I've got tonnes of sunscreen and the car will be air conditioned.
I'm so pumped.
Some Stuff About Things. Down Under.
On post-inking care -Hayley: Umm, Sara, there's grass in your tattoo.
On Sara being bad -
Sara: I'm just so bad!
Karana: I know. I like it.
On waking up early -Sara: Guhh, it's so early.
Liz: Yeah I know. We even beat the ugly birds. [makes noise that sounds something like: Eaaaaacghhhdhdhhdhdhdhhhhh!!!! Eagggghhhhhhtthhhhffffffffguhhhhh!!!] You know, those birds that sounds like dying babies?
No matter where you are in the world, some things never change. I, for example, will always be just a little bit nuts.
Would you look at me, I'm crazy!
But I get the job done!
Yeah I'm crazy, but I get
the job done!
- Ben Folds, Philosophy
Sara the Bad As Punk!
So I got inked today. Got me a tattoo at Little Harry's Tattoo and Piercing Shop on Crown Street.
It's NOT hot right now (bloody, swollen, scabby), but as soon as it heals I'll post pics. Mary capture the whole thing on camera, so maybe I'll also post the pics of Harry sticking needles in me!! Oooooh!
Something that is a bit off-topic, but relating to the way that Mary and Hayley totally kept me calm and got me water:
There is pretty much nothing better than good girlfriends.
Aussie Lingo 101
[work, 4 45pm friday afternoon]
Sara: I have so many problems saying "Darren."
Tanya: What, his name you mean?
Sara: Yeah, coming from my mouth it sounds so... hickish. "Derrrrrrin."
Tanya: Aw look at how cute she is! Look at her lips when she tries to say "R"
Sara: You guys are so weird. Like, "tomato" [pronounced with a perfect Australian accent: "toMAHHHHHtoiiyyyyyyyy(r)"]
[Tanya and Kellie laugh so hard that they both have to wipe tears from their eyes]
Tanya: SAY IT AGAIN!
Sara: Tomato.
Tanya: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Again! Say it again!
Sara: I feel like I'm being used.
Tanya: That is so cute! Just one more time! Please! You'll make my weekend!
Sara: No.
Tanya: PLEEEEEAAAASE!!! I'm not making fun of you.
Sara: Tomato.
Tanya: When I was in Macedonia, everyo--- WAIT! You just SAID IT!!! [bursts into laughter again]
My Week So Far
Monday:
Hanwest!
Tanya: What are you going to do today, Sara?
Sara: The same thing I do every day, Tanya. Try to take over the world! Err I mean, fold things!
I find ways to amuse myself and the people around me.
Tuesday:
After all of my whining and complaining, Kiersten ended up sleeping through her alarm and we missed the sunrise. Boo!
Kiersten making the rounds and saying goodbye.
Wednesday:
After getting Kiersten safely into her taxi (at 4:30 am) Liz and I braved the elements and went to the beach for round two of Trying to See the Sun Rise. Was it disappointing? Yes. Were the clouds big stupid RUINERS? Why yes. Was it still pretty? Yeah, why not.
Went this morning to visit Kate, my Poli 323 prof. She is just about my favorite person right now. I'm going to miss her quite a bit. She had lots of good advice to offer even though she didn't think she would. Also, she said that she could tell that I was Canadian because I don't look American. Not sure if that's a good thing, a bad thing, or because I wear that sexy nylon Canadian flag tracksuit everywhere I go.
Kate likes to drink espresso.
Kate started her undergrad when she was thirty.
Kate has knowledge and passion and knows how to use both.
Kate has a coat that she thinks looks like a bunch of cats.
Kate puts all of our assignments into a polka dot box.
My other politics prof, Steve (also one of the smartest human beings in whose presence I've had the pleasure of being), he said something the other day that I found very interesting:
"We're forced into a situation where we tolerate atrocity, because we're told that the problem is so immense that there's nothing we can do about it."
Steve kind of looks like Santa Claus.
Steve is a Marxist.
Steve has been a lecturer for thirty-five years.
Steve taught Kate when she was doing her undergraduate degree.
Steve likes to call political theorists "sneaky little bastards."
Liz takes on the skimboard.
It's 1:16 am. If I go to sleep in the next two hours it will be the earliest I've been to sleep in a while. Still working on that paper. It's about 3 days overdue now. Watched The Interpreter with Nicole Kidman and Sean Penn. There was no gross kissing in it, thankfully, but I spent most of it sitting on Liz's floor with watery eyes. I think I've identified part of the problem. Going to go see Kate (Poli 323 prof) on Tuesday morning (after the paper has been handed in hopefully!!!!) and ask her how she does it. How does she not get sidetracked and freak-the-clap-out every time she writes / lectures / thinks. I can tell she's a passionate bleeding-heart, and I want to know how she manages to remain so articulate.
Liz and I agreed that it would be beneficial to us to watch a scene from Dodgeball, just to lighten things up and help me get to sleep.
Patches O'Houlihan-
IF YOU CAN DODGE A WRENCH, YOU CAN DODGE A BALL.
Liz & Sara-
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Going to get up at 4 45 am to watch the sun rise over the ocean.
Awwwww
I feel very safe knowing that this little guy's around!
Highlight of yesterday: getting mail from my house church!
Earlier today I finished my second Chaucer paper and I was just chillaxing, listening to Badly Drawn Boy (my new muse), sipping chai, and staring out my window at the pretty day outside. It was sublime.
Then I remembered that I have a 3000 word research paper due tomorrow morning. So now I'm sitting here, staring at my empty mug, once again listening to Badly Drawn Boy, trying to prepare for the long night ahead.
One day I promise I will learn to not wait until the last second. But until then, it's clear that I have not learned my lesson.
Three Months!
So a few days ago I posted that I left Vancouver a quarter of a year ago. It's not the same as today, which is a quarter of a year since I arrived in Wollongong. They're completely different things. Completely different.
Saw Feist last Saturday. She is crazy and wonderful. Truly an artist.
I Love Sydney.
